When you’re in the middle of a divorce, you might be interested in someone else or just want to enjoy an evening out. If you date during your divorce, can your soon-to-be ex-spouse use that against you during negotiations?
Maybe. The safest move during a divorce is to go dateless during separation and the divorce process, but if that’s not possible, this attorney-approved advice may help you in dating during a divorce. These divorce dating dos and don’ts will limit the impact dating will have as you end your marriage.
Divorce Dating Dos
If you are going through a divorce, take this dating advice to heart. It may make for a more amicable separation.
Wait to Date If Possible
The safest choice is always not dating during your separation. If you begin dating while still technically in your marriage, your soon-to-be ex may accuse you of having an affair with the person you’re dating, even if that’s not the case. The new person you’re dating might also be pulled into your legal battle, adding to the divorce drama.
Be Amicable With Your Spouse
Showing kindness to your spouse while you are ending your marriage will result in a smoother divorce process for everyone. The adage “If you can’t say something nice, don’t say anything at all” applies to this situation. Try not to trade insults or accusations. After your divorce, you and your ex may have to see each other at family or friend gatherings, so be civil. A good co-parenting plan can help.
Be Honest With Your Attorney
If you are dating someone during your separation or before it begins, tell your attorney. Your divorce attorney can only best represent your interests if you are honest with them about your situation. There shouldn’t be anything your soon-to-be ex-spouse could reveal that your attorney doesn’t already know.
Get Support
Attend a support group for those going through a divorce. Support groups can be safe, private spaces to discuss your feelings with others in the same situation. Being able to relate to others in your situation could fill socialization needs, helping you avoid dating during your separation.
Divorce Dating Don’ts
For an easier divorce, try to avoid these things during the separation process, especially if you have children.
Don’t Introduce Anyone You Date to Your Kids
You might be over your marriage, but your children could be struggling. Don’t introduce your new person to your children before the divorce is final. Breaking this rule could hurt your relationship with your children and jeopardize custody rights.
Keep Your Focus On Parenting
Your number one job should be parenting, especially during a separation and divorce. Anyone you date during your separation should be someone that one day could be around your children.
If you date someone who shouldn’t be around children, such as someone who has a criminal record, has been listed as a sex offender, or has substance abuse problems, this could lead to the court limiting your custody and visitation rights. If there are false accusations from a spouse about their record, you can bring this as evidence to the court.
Don’t Date Just Because Your Spouse Does
Your spouse may be having an affair or dating someone else during your separation. While it may be tempting to date in retaliation, it’s not smart. Don’t flaunt a new relationship in front of your future ex-spouse. It will only cause anger, hurt feelings, and drama.
Don’t Start a New Family
Having a child with someone else before you are divorced will only make the legal process more difficult in court and for your spouse and children.
Don’t Misrepresent Yourself
Telling someone you’re interested in dating that you are already divorced when you’re only separated is no way to start a relationship. Honesty is always the best policy.
The Difficult Truth
Any attorney will tell you that dating during a divorce can be risky. Divorces can take time, and separations can last years. If you do decide to date during your separation, follow these simple, common-sense rules to keep your dating from adding drama to your divorce negotiations and harming your relationship with your children and future ex-spouse.
The best and safest choice is to wait until your marriage is over before you begin dating again. Let one relationship end before beginning another. If you’re ready to speak with one of our talented divorce attorneys about your current situation, contact CJB Law today.